Mr. and Mrs. Barnes

Amy’s uncle just retired from a long career as a pile driver. We were lost in conversation with him at a family birthday party, discussing what his work entailed. After a bit of explaining, he summed it up by saying, “When the project (usually a bridge) is finished, you can’t see the work that I did anymore.” To us, this seems like a metaphor for parenting. By the time your child is grown and out of the house, the work of the parent—late nights soothing a crying baby, hours of correction and punishment, endless games on the playground, long talks over matters of the heart—is no longer visible. However, just like the work of the pile driver, the work of the parent is essential, and the project would crumble without it.

Anyone who is lucky enough to know Kate and Dan can see why good parenting is worth every bit of hardship. Although we no longer see the day-in and day-out work of their parents—though I’m sure plenty of guests at the wedding were there to see that work being done!—we see the final result that would have crumbled without them: two incredible young adults who are well equipped to begin their own family together.

During Kelly’s maid-of-honor speech, she spoke to her father, Steve, and thanked him for loving their mother well. She told us about their late nights at the firepit drinking wine together and the random bouquets of flowers he brought into the home. These things were not visible to us, but their effect is. As Kelly put it, Steve’s children are able to recognize good love because he modeled it for them first.

We came to this wedding day having known the O’Connor family for over a decade. Kate has been in our lives as “one of Kevin’s little sisters.” She’s the type of person who always leaves a smile on your face. Knowing how wonderful she and her family are, we were so excited to meet Dan and see this man who won her heart. But before we even met him, we met his sisters while they were all getting ready with Kate. We observed the way Kate had been pulled into their family already. They worked on wedding plans together, helped steer their brother to the right shop for a wedding gift, and clearly opened their hearts and family to her. It makes sense that Kate, being from a wonderful family, would attract a man who comes from a wonderful family himself.

Kate and Dan, you are both full of life and joy! We are all better people for knowing you. Praise God that you’ve been loved and raised well throughout your lives. You now begin your own work in your vocation as husband and wife, and God-willing, as parents down the road. This is like the silent work of the pile driver done day in and day out that is no longer visible when the project is complete, but the bridge cannot stand if that work isn’t done well. You’ve seen this work being done consistently and faithfully by your own parents and families, and you are well-equipped for the job. We’re excited to see the blessings in store for you! You’ll continue to be in our prayers.

Love,

Amy and Kyle