The last bit of camera gear was packed into our bags. We were walking with Elizabeth and Erick through Spruce Street Harbor Park. There was a blue tint cast on everything from the sunken sun hidden by the clouds. We were basking in the post-engagement session high and enjoying our last bit of time with our couple, and new friends. These walks during and surrounding engagement sessions are some of our favorite times. We get to learn so much about our amazing couples, who are all so unique and beautiful, carrying their own stories and ideas. As we continued our walk down the road toward our car, we asked about their wedding preparations and wondered what they were looking forward to the most. Erick’s response was simple: “We’re excited to continue getting to know each other.”
Doesn’t it seem, all too often, that men and women think they already know everything about their spouse-to-be before they get married? It’s that, or they at least entertain the idea that they’ll maintain some level of control over this person, and will therefore be able to mold them into the person they desire for them to be if they end up not liking what they see down the road. Erick and Elizabeth’s excitement for getting to know each other says a lot about what is going on in their hearts. They are patiently waiting for more of the other person to be revealed. There is no assumption that they already know everything about each other and they’re not forcing their own expectations on each other. They are simply waiting to more deeply know each other.
Relationships are easily damaged when the husband or wife enters into the marriage thinking they already know everything about the other person, because we’re constantly changing. If we approach marriage with the assumption that we fully know the other person, it is easy to become disappointed when something surfaces that we aren’t expecting, which can lead to resentment and loss of trust. Entering into marriage is more about partnering up with another person for the journey to Heaven. We’ll all change as we grow in holiness and in age. Our whole lives will be spent trying to learn more about the person to whom we are married.
Elizabeth and Erick, your early conversations encouraged you along in your relationship. You became comfortable with the idea of being more vulnerable, and you gradually opened yourselves up to sharing more of yourselves. The graces received from your marriage will help this process along, and you’ll continue to learn more about each other every day, just as you’re looking forward to doing. We are so excited to be with you on your journey to the altar. You are in our prayers!
Amy and Kyle